Make me better..

March 2, 2009

Not being in good terms with you is definitely a chaos. It's like stopping yourself to be happy.. or to breathe. Seriously, it's like falling to a pit and you can't see any color -- just black and white. It's like living in sadness that I can't find a reason to smile.

Even though you were beside me, even though I can feel you, all that I can radiate is your sadness and your quietness. I'm not used being with you with no words to say. As much as I want to pretend that I am good and happy, I cannot for I really can't fake myself when you're in front of me or it's just you and me together. Oh yeah, we definitely have quiet times. But that's with a "contentment" feeling. Unlike what we had.. just pure awkward emotions that I don't really know what to do. I'll talk to you, you'll just answer as if everything is fine and that we're cool. I want to talk about it but you just don't want to. What more can I do? But to cry quietly...

It's not wise to have a fight with you. Even though I would love to be egoistic, I cannot for I'll rather eat all of the ego and pride inside me rather than not talking to you for so long.

I'm sorry if I was quiet this afternoon. It's very nonsense to call you at your house and then, I won't be speaking. I just felt that if ever I'll be speaking, I'll just end up crying. Golly, you made me a crybaby again. You're making me feel weak again. X_x But with the words you said, just when I want to hung up the phone, you drew a smile on my face that made me feel ecstatic. You never fail to do such. Thank you for that. And sorry for all of my shortcomings and for the very "moody" weekend that we had. And the next time that you just want me to make lambing, just tell me so that I will have a clue than going ballistic for I don't know how to make amends. HAHAHAHA! =P

Oh well, let's just forget about it. I am happy already. Finally, we're okayyy. You're not angry at me anymore. Hmm.. Okay.. not really angry for you said that you can't get angry at me. =P Let's just say, you're back to your happy disposition. I got my bubbly hubby again! YAY! =D

"Between laughing for no reason,
stupid arguments, long talks
and making fun of each other...

I fell in love with you."