Sick.

I'm not a fan of hospitals. I never wanted to be in and I've always been lazy going there. Thus many people telling me that I'm not able to maximize my Maxicare health card.. Even just for vitamins! But last night? It was a totally different experience.

For the past few days, weeks even, I have not been feeling fine. And very few people know that -- my boyfriend Rai and my ever reliable "nurse" and previous agent, Pearl. They do know what I have been feeling and what I have been going through since I do consult them. And last night was like a turning point for me.

In case you're thinking, no, I haven't consulted a doctor yet. I was supposed to do it last week but something hinders me to do so. I rescheduled it this week and something came up again. So now, I'm waiting for next week again. Pfft. And I can't really fathom what kind of sickness I'm in.

So going back to last night... It hurts so much that I wanted
to scream and disappear at the same time. I was even begging Rai to bring me to the hospital but he refused to do so even when I'm in verge of tears. Probably because he wanted me to be strong. But for a person like me to beg? It was definitely hurtful.

Gladly, after some time and after sleeping, I was able to ease the pain. I still considered myself lucky since I didn't experience the same thing that happened before -- I was really crying, dehydrated, vomitting and looking for my mom to help Rai to bring me to the hospital. As much as I hate to be there, I really wanted to during that time.

Just this morning, I experienced just the same but I kept on thinking good things. Y'know when they say, "Mind over matter"? That's what I've been thinking. "I kept on saying to myself, "It doesn't hurt." and I kept on taking long breaths. Sometimes, just a little positivity will be a great help.

I'm crossing my fingers not to experience it again. But I'm keeping my palm together as well for prayer that I'll be fine and will be taken care of. And yes, I won't be hard headed next week and will finally consult a doctor.

Pray for my health, too. Please?